tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post423788506629751334..comments2023-07-15T04:20:16.543-05:00Comments on Almost Diamonds: Rarefied AirStephanie Zvanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-76433423148179498522009-01-03T14:00:00.000-06:002009-01-03T14:00:00.000-06:00Thanks, Mme. I was kind of hoping this post would ...Thanks, Mme. I was kind of hoping this post would encourage a few people to talk about how they don't fit the stereotypes of what "everyone else" is doing.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-10165913052480385322009-01-01T20:39:00.000-06:002009-01-01T20:39:00.000-06:00Hi Stephanie,Excellent post as per usual. We only ...Hi Stephanie,<BR/><BR/>Excellent post as per usual. We only know each other through the blogosphere, but feel free to add my example to the mix: My mate, Kermit, and I are a single income family with papa as the primary caretaker and mama as the breadwinner. Also, I am divorced with joint custody with tremendous input from Kermit as her step-dad. <BR/><BR/>Kermit is a student/artist/formerly 100% stay at home dad. He is only formerly 100% stay at home because both kids are in school full-time now. We used to be a dual artist couple (not sure about the non-delusional part), but we got sick of ramen, and we like our electricity to stay on.Mme Piggyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315984693891137001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-63991283196755438182008-12-31T13:03:00.000-06:002008-12-31T13:03:00.000-06:00Hmm, I'll give you myopia. I'm not sure where the ...Hmm, I'll give you myopia. I'm not sure where the "should" comes in, though, that would make this naturalistic fallacy specifically.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-49836446995790091092008-12-31T11:38:00.000-06:002008-12-31T11:38:00.000-06:00Everyone has their own naturalistic fallacy to wor...Everyone has their own naturalistic fallacy to work off of. It is interesting to look at actual numbers of actual parenting practices. <BR/><BR/>One of the most astounding facts to every arise from hunter gatherer research is this: Pygmy fathers studies by Barry Hewlett in one area of Africa spend almost the same amount of time as mothers holding the babies (other child care activities are more female). Pygmy fathers studies by Barry Hewlett in a different area of Africa spend almost no time holding the babies. <BR/><BR/>So much for the monolithic hunter gatherer. So much for the monolithic anything.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-73608708930406174732008-12-31T11:07:00.000-06:002008-12-31T11:07:00.000-06:00And even beyond that, Will, they're stronger in so...And even beyond that, Will, they're stronger in some places, and I shouldn't forget that some people are still subject to pretty strong coercion from them even if I'm not.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-78861182055600641522008-12-31T10:41:00.000-06:002008-12-31T10:41:00.000-06:00Okay, my comment was fast and glib. I meant to say...Okay, my comment was fast and glib. I meant to say we all have ideas of what's supposed to be and how things are elsewhere, and they tend to be great simplifications. People who talk about what fits the norm are often imagining a norm that no longer exists or never did.<BR/><BR/>Even so, I get your point. The expectations for an imaginary norm are weaker in some places.Will Shetterlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08539053268352597627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-13687473299865205382008-12-31T10:35:00.000-06:002008-12-31T10:35:00.000-06:00The rest of the world doesn't look like the rest o...The rest of the world doesn't look like the rest of the world either. Just sayin'.Will Shetterlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08539053268352597627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-45443301465854088752008-12-30T19:08:00.000-06:002008-12-30T19:08:00.000-06:00Well, it was a blog post, so you got the core rath...Well, it was a blog post, so you got the core rather than the extended picture. If you count art as a career, then yes, no single-career families with primary caretaker papas. But almost everyone I know is an artist of some sort or another or pursues a geek passion, so single-career couples are rare to begin with.<BR/><BR/>The one poly group I know who had children broke up about a year and a half ago. I didn't include them because I don't know what the custodial arrangements are now. There are a couple of others groups I know, but they're not local, which this list all is.<BR/><BR/>There were nondelusional artist parents. They were the writers who were already under contract when the kids came along or very shortly thereafter, so they didn't have a choice about learning to adapt quickly. The dual artist couples either didn't have kids or at least one put the art on hold while the kids were young. Art rarely pays off during peak reproductive years, and art, living with little money and kids all take large time investments. I'm not saying you can't combine all three, but it's rare enough I'm not surprised I don't know anyone who's managed it.<BR/><BR/>Is that any better?Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-78377772710897171732008-12-30T18:14:00.000-06:002008-12-30T18:14:00.000-06:00But no single career families where the father is ...But no single career families where the father is the primary caretaker?<BR/><BR/>No poly co-parenting?<BR/><BR/>No non-delusion dual artist couples?<BR/><BR/><BR/>*sigh*...<BR/>you say you want a revolution, yeah well you know...Beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15356974556397009124noreply@blogger.com