tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post807840513889528665..comments2023-07-15T04:20:16.543-05:00Comments on Almost Diamonds: Why "No Means No"Stephanie Zvanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-72971559374538988472009-06-11T21:33:27.559-05:002009-06-11T21:33:27.559-05:00When there's trouble you
call Dee Double-you!...When there's trouble you <br />call Dee Double-you!Jason Thibeaulthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01595673310069068735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-49820745608080035262009-06-11T21:20:37.765-05:002009-06-11T21:20:37.765-05:00'Tis indeed.'Tis indeed.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-54479993589095196402009-06-11T21:19:13.186-05:002009-06-11T21:19:13.186-05:00Ah DarkWing... Such a great show.
...also, love i...Ah DarkWing... Such a great show.<br /><br />...also, love is the greatest, isn't it?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-52271745413418169422009-06-11T21:11:39.040-05:002009-06-11T21:11:39.040-05:00How the hell did you know I want the cookies that ...How the hell did you know I want the cookies that won't come to me???<br /><br />No matter...In little more than an hour there will be DuckTales - ALL the DuckTales!!! And...Oh yes, And there will be Darkwing Duck!!! Then Saturday I will hopefully have Eldest's new computer to put them all on, along with a shit-ton of books and more educationally oriented shows for him and Youngest to enjoy.DuWayne Braytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04074683871047219790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-86543115461457778292009-06-11T21:02:55.244-05:002009-06-11T21:02:55.244-05:00I know, DuWayne, and I apologize, but that's w...I know, DuWayne, and I apologize, but that's what makes it fun to mess with you just a little right now.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-16844240223737812932009-06-11T21:01:32.463-05:002009-06-11T21:01:32.463-05:00I should mention that I've been in a great dea...I should mention that I've been in a great deal of pain and am medicated - very comfortably medicated...Except now I want cookies, but they do not come when I call...DuWayne Braytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04074683871047219790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-32743977562176374472009-06-11T21:00:10.078-05:002009-06-11T21:00:10.078-05:00I was actually holy fucknolying the argument to no...I was actually holy fucknolying the argument to nowhere, that never ends - but that may have been a hallucination...DuWayne Braytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04074683871047219790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-56716246986960586512009-06-11T20:46:17.268-05:002009-06-11T20:46:17.268-05:00GWAHAHA SUCK IT BRAYTON
I mean.
Yeah. Isn't...GWAHAHA SUCK IT BRAYTON<br /><br />I mean.<br /><br />Yeah. Isn't it nice we all have someone to love? Love, love, love... doo de doo dooJason Thibeaulthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01595673310069068735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-15370039201441858052009-06-11T20:37:33.161-05:002009-06-11T20:37:33.161-05:00Sorry, DuWayne, you're just not unique anymore...Sorry, DuWayne, you're just not unique anymore. Love's all over the internet. I hear tell Greg's even gonna blog about me and my boy tomorrow. You and Juniper are going to have to share the tubes. :)Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-5565189958569939352009-06-11T20:29:11.773-05:002009-06-11T20:29:11.773-05:00Holy Fucknoly!!!! You guys have got to be kidding...Holy Fucknoly!!!! You guys have got to be kidding...<br /><br />Or am I hallucinating???<br /><br />I did almost tip over whilst getting a few hits from a cigarette earlier.<br /><br />HI JODI!!!!!DuWayne Braytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04074683871047219790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-53625536270889101872009-06-11T19:48:42.066-05:002009-06-11T19:48:42.066-05:00Yeah... Jodi's like my emotionally stable yang...Yeah... Jodi's like my emotionally stable yang. See why I love her?Jason Thibeaulthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01595673310069068735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-12479785366846463912009-06-11T17:55:09.026-05:002009-06-11T17:55:09.026-05:00I think that if you check the original post, you&#...<i>I think that if you check the original post, you'll find that nothing has changed in 47 comments except that Becca added a couple of excellent refinements.</i><br /><br />Forty years in the wilderness to go from the Nile to Palestine -- less than 300 miles.<br /><br />Sometimes it's the path length rather than the endpoints that matter.D. C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06515125525097163604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-41820626886440269622009-06-11T17:31:30.993-05:002009-06-11T17:31:30.993-05:00Maybe nothing has changed. I'd rather hoped th...Maybe nothing has changed. I'd rather hoped that at least the perception certain people had that I was saying anything other than "sometimes people aren't clear, and it causes problems" might have changed.<br /><br />Maybe that's a lost cause.<br /><br />Oh, and Princess Bride is the greatest movie ever made, and that's why we danced to "Storybook Love" at my wedding.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-25528345296528458192009-06-11T17:11:19.789-05:002009-06-11T17:11:19.789-05:00Thanks for breaking the lurking habit for us, Jodi...Thanks for breaking the lurking habit for us, Jodi. I hope your day gets better.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-87539814697940861662009-06-11T17:08:06.599-05:002009-06-11T17:08:06.599-05:00Maybe 'no means no' is not reality at the ...Maybe 'no means no' is <b>not</b> reality at the moment but that is not the point of this post, as I see it. The point is that <i> if you are reading this now you <b>MUST</b> start assuming</i> that 'no means no' is the default position. <br />By continuing to argue that 'no means no, except sometimes it doesn't' you're just muddying the waters and making things worse in the long run. We all know that sometimes, <i> sometimes</i> humans are silly creatures and play silly games and say 'no' when they really mean 'yes' and sometimes that can get confusing (and I'm not talking about bdsm), but everyone here is trying to help clear up that confusion.<br /><br />It's simple really, avoiding raping someone by assuming they mean no trumps getting yelled at by a silly girl who was too immature to say what she meant or take a second ahead of time to explain her sexual preferences. Less people being raped in the world also trumps a bit of confusion and hurt feelings.<br /><br />(I'm not a regular poster to blogs, so I think it took me too long to write up this comment and it is probably irrelevant now but I just had to say all that ^ anyway. I've had a rough day and some people in the world just need to fuck off.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-64889398414440534302009-06-11T16:55:14.632-05:002009-06-11T16:55:14.632-05:00I have to agree. A Princess Bride reference and a...I have to agree. A Princess Bride reference and a They Might Be Giants reference, plus a "Make it so", and you've got basically everything it takes to make me agree with anything you say in the rest of the post.<br /><br />Incidentally, this was on XKCD the other day. I think it has a parallel here. http://xkcd.com/592/Jason Thibeaulthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01595673310069068735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-20049384316223947862009-06-11T16:48:29.614-05:002009-06-11T16:48:29.614-05:00I think that if you check the original post, you&#...I think that if you check the original post, you'll find that nothing has changed in 47 comments except that Becca added a couple of excellent refinements.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-68749264370148667142009-06-11T16:46:24.470-05:002009-06-11T16:46:24.470-05:00"Let me 'esplain. Wait, no. It is too lon...<i>"Let me 'esplain. Wait, no. It is too long. Let me sum up"</i><br /><br />Princess Bride is my very favoritest movie ever.Jason Thibeaulthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01595673310069068735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-24545014540906133182009-06-11T16:41:02.743-05:002009-06-11T16:41:02.743-05:00More or less. I'd change it to "sometimes...More or less. I'd change it to "sometimes it doesn't, and that creates problems," but it's not that critical. You've basically got the gist of it aside from three dozen comments, more or less, arguing about what I meant for some reason...<br /><br />Oh well. We're all on the same page, now, yes? In the absence of alternative signaling specifically negotiated beforehand, "no" should always be assumed to mean no, and nothing else, both by the person saying it and the person hearing it.<br /><br />Am I right? We're all in agreement at this point?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-185292169704003972009-06-11T16:32:26.967-05:002009-06-11T16:32:26.967-05:00Let me 'esplain. Wait, no. It is too long. Let...Let me 'esplain. Wait, no. It is too long. Let me sum up:<br /><br />Stephanie Z: "No means No" (<b>sings</b>: no is always no, if they say no it means a thousand times no /TMBG)<br />Rystefn: "sometimes it doesn't"<br />Chorus: "Rystefn, OMGWTFBBQ it's so much safer to assume no means no"<br />Rystefn: "I do that. It can cause it's own problems"<br />Everyone (chorus+Rystefn) together now: "yeah, but they are not worse problems than rape. ergo, we must behave as though no means no"<br /><br />TLDR summation:<br />Everyone: "No should mean No"<br />Picard: "make it so"<br /><br />Interesting 'random' factoid: this morning on NPR the guest was the author of <i>"The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement"</i>.Beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15356974556397009124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-85900136154736422772009-06-11T15:51:04.228-05:002009-06-11T15:51:04.228-05:00Now, now... In fairness, I always start with a res...Now, now... In fairness, I always start with a response directly on-topic. If I feature heavily in the post made, I don't think it's inappropriate to try to ensure that I'm being portrayed accurately. If I'm attacked in the comments of a post before I've even read it (as is the case here), I think it's completely appropriate to defend myself.<br /><br />If people ask questions of me or direct statements toward me, I think it's appropriate to respond.<br /><br />If you really don't want me turning up and talking about something, maybe it would be better to not write a post about how one of my comments is either confused or a case rape denialism or justification.<br /><br />Yes, I know it was about more than that, but it was also about that. I'm not turning this into a referendum on my feelings. I'm just trying to correct people who misinterpret what I'm trying to say. Who gives a shit about my feelings? This is a serious problem we're talking about here, my feelings don't mean shit. Facts, on the other hand, do matter. Actually understanding what the people involved in the discussion does matter. Clearing up misunderstandings does matter.<br /><br />If I thought for a second it would help in any way for people think I'm trying to reinforce the behaviors that lead to the types of confusion I was talking about, I'd let people think that. I'd encourage them to, even. It doesn't, though. Moreover,any time someone leaps to a wrong assumption about a comment and isn't called out on it, it reinforces the wrong assumption and encourages them to leap to further assumptions in the future.<br /><br />How in the universe leaping to wrong assumptions and seeing enemies where you have allies is going to help get people to understand the importance of clear communication is beyond me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-12951291930759101532009-06-11T15:49:12.835-05:002009-06-11T15:49:12.835-05:00"Ms Zvan, I am in awe of your tact and patien...<i>"Ms Zvan, I am in awe of your tact and patience."</i><br />What he said.<br /><br />I'm genuinely sorry for contributing to the distraction.Jason Thibeaulthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01595673310069068735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-88788079477657603652009-06-11T15:32:02.051-05:002009-06-11T15:32:02.051-05:00Ms Zvan, I am in awe of your tact and patience.Ms Zvan, I am in awe of your tact and patience.D. C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06515125525097163604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-90305476733985700082009-06-11T15:25:52.414-05:002009-06-11T15:25:52.414-05:00Of course I understand it. If you hadn't turne...Of course I understand it. If you hadn't turned every thread on the topic of rape in the last week into a referrenda on your feelings, I might even be sympathetic. Right now, you're just a distraction.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-10293227891284424962009-06-11T15:09:42.776-05:002009-06-11T15:09:42.776-05:00Stephanie, I never remotely thought it was about d...Stephanie, I never remotely thought it was about destroying my reputation. Believe me, at no point did I think this post (or anything you said to me) was made in malice. We're on the same side, here, despite certain protestations to the contrary.<br /><br />As I've said more than once, I completely agree with you about how things should be. I completely agree that it would be better if everyone was absolutely clear about what they want and if no one progressed without being absolutely sure that the anyone else involved wanted it as well. I am 100% with you on this.<br /><br />Surely you can understand how frustrating it is when pointing out a problem is mistaken for being part of the problem, though.<br /><br />Surely you can understand how frustrating it is when my every attempt to explain this is met with hostility.<br /><br />You say that this is supposed to be about "teaching people how to deal maturely with sex." Can you understand why it might be a shade upsetting to be attacked for pointing out what is a fairly common problem on that front?<br /><br />Let me make that clear again, since I don't think I can make it any clearer: Not communicating clearly is a problem, and it leads to other problems. This is not a good thing. More communication, and more honest communication, is the solution. If there's any question at all, stop and get clarification, don't assume.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com