Idiots

Organizers of the first annual National Hanging Out in the Street Night were disappointed Sunday when inclement weather forced the cancellation of their long-planned event. "The late December snowstorms that covered most of the nation took us by surprise," said Eugene Dipwad, event organizer. "It's the kind of freak occurrence you can only hope will happen on someone else's special day instead of yours."

The National Hanging Out in the Street Night committee, or NHOITSC ("The second N would just make it sound silly," said the group's treasurer, Harriet Pibrayne), tried to get word of the cancellation out early. Still, many people seemed determined to carry on with the festivities. Streets everywhere held more pedestrians than usual.

Some revelers looked tentative, justifying their existence in the middle of the road by standing near open car doors. Others were more bold, marching two or three abreast beside perfectly clear sidewalks. The one thing all had in common was a confidence that drivers sliding through intersections and fishtailing down parkways would regain control before hitting the celebrants. Their trust was made even more touching by the prevailing whiteout conditions.

Dipwad beamed when informed of the impromptu festivities. "With indomitable spirits like those by our side, National Hanging Out in the Street Night can only be a success. Next year, we'll have contingency plans in place for this kind of thing. Whatever the weather, we'll pack the streets. You can count on us!"

An Atheist's Christmas

Because it's the time of year when we turn our backs on the dark and celebrate the return of the light:

• Christopher Hitchens reads Tom Lehrer's "Christmas Carol"
• "The Atheist's Christmas in 2107," a short story
• A look at what a non-politically-correct Christmas really looks like
  
• Santas for all occasions
  
• Ricky Gervais has an entertaining argument with the Archbishop of Canterbury
• An inspirational message from Santa

May your days be merry and bright, y'all.