tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post9078244355453499593..comments2023-07-15T04:20:16.543-05:00Comments on Almost Diamonds: How Unhappy Is Irrational?Stephanie Zvanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-29582542929012302242009-12-19T00:04:41.309-06:002009-12-19T00:04:41.309-06:00Yeah I'd call that a perfectly valid stance. T...Yeah I'd call that a perfectly valid stance. The only rational and sane response is to feel like crap of one brand or another. I'd wonder about someone who was cheerful and happy about such a situation. Unhappiness is not a pathology, and does not require professional help in and of itself.<br /><br />Rest assured that if I ever ask how you're doing, what's happening, or how's life, I mean it in the literal sense, and if the answer is negative, I'd rather have that than a pleasant lie.<br /><br />I may not be good for much, but I've a solid sense of empathy and sympathy for woes of the non-self-inflicted variety, and more than I generally admit for much of the other variety as well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-54476336265722688572009-12-18T22:10:27.958-06:002009-12-18T22:10:27.958-06:00Steph, I feel like I'm a few days late here an...Steph, I feel like I'm a few days late here and more than a dollar short. I'm not indifferent, just over-stressed. <br />I'd never recommend therapy - unless you got to the point where you couldn't cope, AND you asked my opinion. I've had a couple awful therapists, so I don't jump on that particular bandwagon, but luckily found a great support group years ago that actively practiced non-judgmental support, active listening, and avoided giving advice. But that's me, not you. Go ahead and complain, explain, emote, write all the excruciating details, cry or giggle. Whatever works for you. Don't censor just to keep some of the rest of us from feeling uncomfortable. If we do, that's our problem. The fact that you're sharing because nobody else is is enough to do for the rest of us. Vent. Scream. Sleep. Rage. Curl up in a ball. It doesn't have to pass somebody's "rationality" test - unless you decide what works involves walking naked down your street in traffic in the middle of winter. Then we might have a chat. Yours is not the right neighborhood for that activity. Or maybe if you started trying to spread peanut butter on the cat, then I'd worry.Heather R.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-14551906616776602272009-12-17T21:24:38.530-06:002009-12-17T21:24:38.530-06:00RPS77, there is no obligation to comment whatsoeve...RPS77, there is no obligation to comment whatsoever, but I'm glad you did. Thanks.<br /><br />critter, you can keep entertaining me on Facebook. You're very good at it.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-34863060921410147022009-12-17T21:20:15.302-06:002009-12-17T21:20:15.302-06:00Of course you feel like shit. Who wouldn't. Re...Of course you feel like shit. Who wouldn't. Really, if there's anything I can do from several hundred miles away...critterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14331359234846241164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-61858043792298050972009-12-16T23:30:33.888-06:002009-12-16T23:30:33.888-06:00Like everyone else has said, it's perfectly na...Like everyone else has said, it's perfectly natural to be unhappy and negative given everything that you've been going through. I'm sorry that everything has been so difficult for you lately, and I hope that things get better soon and allow you to become more active again.<br /><br />(I've been a sort of silent reader (which is more accurate and sounds much better than "lurker", IMHO) of your blog and Quiche Moraine for a few months. I should have commented and offered you at least verbal support much earlier, but I often get this weird feeling that I shouldn't comment at all unless I have something original or special to say. I could not think of anything that people who actually know you hadn't said, so I didn't even comment to wish you good luck or speedy recovery even though I should have.)<br /><br />Anyway - yes, social conventions are a nasty burden sometimes, and breaking them is unfortunately an even bigger burden. Also, you should try to become better friends with sleep - in my experience at least, it can be one of the best friends a person can have, although it's not healthy to spend too much time together.RPS77https://www.blogger.com/profile/14698390366612218268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-34728607507145678702009-12-16T22:03:21.123-06:002009-12-16T22:03:21.123-06:00Catharine, I don't know why, but when someone ...Catharine, I don't know why, but when someone commends me for bravery, I brush it off, but being commended for chutzpah is completely different. And pretty awesome.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-29374823055283406082009-12-16T18:12:14.504-06:002009-12-16T18:12:14.504-06:00I love and appreciate your honesty and admire your...I love and appreciate your honesty and admire your flawless prose. Actually, I read you with a certain measure of empathy, a large measure, I think. Even if you didn't have all the other stuff going on (which you do), not being able to exercise alone will totally fuck up your mood and sleep patterns. <br /><br />About the therapist thing: it absolutely depends on the individual. I have been seeing my therapist for 13+ years. I love her and I can't imagine what I would do without her. (But then I have mental illness and emotional baggage from childhood that even a lifetime of therapy will never solve -- I just want to be able to cope and to function.) However, I can fully imagine my therapist saying to me, "Honey, what you need are some friends!" <br /><br />And given the opportunity, I know that I am an excellent and loyal friend.<br /><br />I don't think you need therapy. Honesty, in my opinion, is not pathological. But is sure does take a lot of chutzpah.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07051648654318252545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-2091019460776903692009-12-16T15:51:40.391-06:002009-12-16T15:51:40.391-06:00Jason, eggnog is weirdly gross and tasty at the sa...Jason, eggnog is weirdly gross and tasty at the same time. I don't really get that. Kinda high calorie for me right now, but thanks for the offer.Stephanie Zvanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15182490110208080002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-45985805161555677322009-12-16T13:17:05.472-06:002009-12-16T13:17:05.472-06:00If I had even the remotest inkling that therapy mi...If I had even the remotest inkling that therapy might help, I would have recommended it. Whoever this person is, is poor at empathy.<br /><br />Sorry if they're offended by that.<br /><br />Want a social tea cookie (baby biscuit)? And some eggnog?Jason Thibeaulthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01595673310069068735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-42056807290451477862009-12-16T10:32:22.855-06:002009-12-16T10:32:22.855-06:00Extremely well written, Steph. There's a defin...Extremely well written, Steph. There's a definite difference between generalized depression and the frustration and sadness that is the side effect of illness. My therapist was good at helping me distinguish the two and learn how to deal with both.<br />Remember, I'm a good listener and, I think, a pretty good hugger.a2zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15867153675975264100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-40199926035243280612009-12-16T09:49:06.653-06:002009-12-16T09:49:06.653-06:00Wow. Just wow. I think that your "negativity&...Wow. Just wow. I think that your "negativity" given your current state of health and activity and all the rest is a perfectly reasonable and rational response. Not that you asked for my opinion. Just thought I would say that I totally support you being honest and truthful about your feelings and level of pain. Sucking it up to make sure no one else gets uncomfortable about you is ridiculous.Ambivalent Academichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05908454781195782927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38764987.post-20118091482756690072009-12-16T04:34:15.355-06:002009-12-16T04:34:15.355-06:00Friends are generally better than therapists, but ...Friends are generally better than therapists, but therapists are usually *most* effective if you have a good cognitive grasp of the *reason* for your unhappiness. Whether it's from an obvious physical illness or not. Therapists are actually pretty poor at helping one identify the source, but pretty good at helping one figure out how to make life more plesant in the meantime. So, while if you don't know one who would benefit you I wouldn't urge therapy, I also don't see why the 'rationality' of your unhappy state means that it's useless to consult one. <br />This is the problem with all you "ohh I'm so RATIONAL!" skeptic folks. Sometimes it takes irrational to be happy. I reccomend rainbows and puppies. Or FWDAOTI.Beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15356974556397009124noreply@blogger.com