June 15, 2008

I'm Tired of Insomnia

No, really. It's not funny.

I was sleepy when I went to bed. I was comfortable. My brain wasn't working at anything in particular. It wasn't revved up, but it wouldn't rev down. Sleep? Oh no, not me.

Forget that I've been sleepy most of the weekend. Forget that I hauled myself out of bed at a decent hour this morning instead of sleeping in (oh, sleeping in). Forget that it's been almost 72 hours since I've touched caffeine. Forget that I compliantly put off starting the project I knew would be interesting enough to keep me awake. Forget that I have things to do tomorrow that would benefit from a fresh outlook.

Because all of those things are only going to keep me up longer. So I have to forget, and I have to go crawl back into bed as though it were the first time tonight, as though it doesn't matter whether I ever fall asleep. Otherwise, I won't.


Christopher said...

I have (in moments of terrible stupidity) thought insomnia would be a wonderful thing, that it would allow me to get things done and not waste time sleeping. So far I've never actually had insomnia (the sleep paralysis is bad enough) but I'm no longer so naive as to think there would be anything good about it.

Stephanie Zvan said...

Actually, I'm starting to wonder whether I shouldn't try to get something done when I can't sleep. All the standard insomnia advice says not to, but I can't say the standard advice has done me a lot of good. The trick would be finding things I want to get done that aren't going to set my brain buzzing again.

Yeah, sleep paralysis sucks. An old roommate had that as her most consistent symptom of narcolepsy. You should have seen some of the things she painted from her night terrors.

Christopher said...

Holy mackerel...sleep paralysis and narcolepsy? Suddenly I don't feel so bad about my rather mundane night terrors, which usually involve serial killers giving me blood transfusions.